Hors D'oeuvre for Dinner

Seeing as I spend enough money on cooking for two as it is, the chances I will ever have a dinner party fully catered by me are slim. (Wait, didn't I do that last fall? Pork loin with a tapanade, stuffed mushrooms.....) Anyway! A couple weeks ago I went through a greasy, snack food, hors d'oeuvre type dinner mood.

I'll admit that the reason I have recently fallen in love with chicken and ranch is because one day this winter my boyfriend forced me to agree to Wendy's instead of McDonalds when we ran out for fast food. On some sort of whim (since I don't like their burgers or chicken nuggets) I ordered a Spicy Chicken sandwich. It's what my brother always used to get. I came home and found it to be REALLY spicy, but luckily it came with a nice cooling ranch dipping sauce. Mmmmmm. From there I found the wonders of ranch and chicken!

This dish is pretty simple, actually. So simple, I'm not going to even write it out all formally like. Cook some bacon. Maybe 5 pieces? Cut a couple thin cut chicken breasts into small pieces and saute that chicken with delicious things in the bacon fat (while reserving the bacon, of course). I used about half an onion, two cloves of garlic and some red pepper flakes. I wish it had been more spicy, so if I were you, I'd saute it in some jalapeno or add more red pepper or hot sauce or the like. Now, grab a can of Pillsbury biscuits and divide each one in half (you should have about 20.) In the center of a biscuit round, put a couple pieces of chicken, some bacon, and as much cheese (I went with a mexican 4 cheese mix) as will fit. Stretch the biscuit dough around the filling. Repeat! Cook for as long as the package of biscuit dough directs. Serve with buttermilk ranch as a dipping sauce.

The next thing I did was inspired by a starter we had when we went out for St. Patrick's Day. They were called Armadillo Eggs. However, when I looked up what exactly Armadillo Eggs were (jalapeno poppers, except encased in sausage...) I realized that we had simply had jalapeno poppers, which have a significantly less entertaining name. Still, absolutely delicious! So, I set out to make an Armadillo Egg inspired meal. Jalapeno poppers with sausage biscuits.

I'll be honest. The picture makes them seem like a significant less failure than they were. Basically. Hollow out the inside of a jalapeno. Mix together cream cheese and cheddar and stuff that in the dude. Dip it in milk, then flour, then milk, then panko. Drop into hot oil. Voila!

Yeah..... so here's the problems I encountered. The jalapenos were too tough. This was because I should have baked them for a while after hollowing them out. I also should have made them as thin as possible, throughout the whole thing (so the end wasn't super hot!) I should have also repeated the milk-flour-milk-panko process a few times, making the breading more awesome. I should have fried the jalapeno poppers longer, or perhaps twice fried them.

Another thing: Make sure your biscuit is not expired when you make drop biscuits. Otherwise, the results will taste like chalk and stinky baking soda. As a result, your sausage and jalapeno poppers will be too spicy and woe! The straw that broke the camel's back. The point here is...... Don't follow my footsteps for jalapeno poppers with sausage biscuits. Only madness lies that way.

Following up this post on greasy, buttery snacky food, I'm going into a week of cooking healthy food! On the plate for the week: Basil Pesto with homemade Pasta, Hummus Pita Pizza with spinach, olives, and tomatoes, and either Soy Glazed Salmon with Mango Salsa or a Seared Tuna Mandarin Salad.